i was just wondering that i never post on the blog when im feeling a bit philosophical or nostalgic or even just happy. i only post when im either bored or incensed or have too much time on my hands.
to tell the truth this was supposed to be a completely anonymous and private blog, a place where i could vent with freedom, where i could write witout hesitation, where i could write without the fear of hurting a loved one. simply put where i could be me. as blunt, as sarcastic and as in secure as i truly am. but i cant be tht person here. i have to be the polite, nice me here.
lately i have been reading a wide array of blogs which range from (on my scale) bizarre(my new pet word in case you hadnt guessed yet) to ridiculous to sweet to inspiring to plain gag inducing. what i dont understand is are these people really who they say they are? am i what i potray through the blog? am i truthful? or do i tend to over exagerrate or understate an event when retelling it? do i write for the pleasure of it? or do i write to exercise my mmind and through out random words into the cyberspace, a word i presume only used in sci-fi movies.
i considered doing a day by day account of my life as i read on some blogs which i truly enjoy. they are like 7days for me, read every morning as soon as i come to the office. then i think what will i write?? tht i slept till 1:30 on friday and saturday and was woken not by my shrill alam but by my mothers' kiss or my my father gently shaking me awake as if it was 7:30 and not 1 in the afternoon.
yes i suppose i could write that. i think the reason that i dont is maybe coz i want approval, from no body specific but everybody in general. i suppose i should stop looing for approval. this is my space. here i will be what i am. boring or monotonous it might me but it is who i am. and i wouldnt want to change that for the world!
hence there will be be two blogs now, one a
diary and one for musings and the not so occasional rants. lets see for how many days i can kep this up!
*this post is completely incoherent, written in a flow of thoughts and emotions all coliding in one place, all at once. please dont try to make sense out of it as there is none.