lots of random fluffy bits

im as tired as the scatterbrained title! so im going to do bullets of stuff going through my fluffy bits now.

• somehow emraan hashmi looks cute with long hair. i know, very ewww! something is definitely wrong here...maybe im into long haired dudes. revelation?
• facebook could be used as a weapon of mass destruction. brain (of pinky and the brain) could wreak havoc with it.
• there are plenty of cute guys in dubai; just not pakistani ones. facebook research!
• saw the notebook yesterday. rather streamed it. was up till 3 am. im in love with noah or (rather ryan gosling as noah calhoun)!! allah mian mera noah kab aaiye ga?
• im most definitely getting a bright red suzuki jimny; the 2007 model. any thoughts, opnions and/or ghastly experiences are most welcome! if you are going to tell me it looks like a dabba i know already, mum and alta clued me into that fact! km jealous yet??
• i miss my very irritating baby brother so much its seems hilarious at times! here i was, all prepared to send him off into the big bad world to learn important life leasons and im already wishin he'll come home now. how these four years will go by... :(
• i was supposed to be in bed by 10:20 and its 12:20 :( :(

bas ab kay liye itna hi, baqi ki khabrein kaal raat ko! ;)

TFL the ghost and other interesting tales

either its me or its everyone else, but something is definitely wrong! for eg a couple of hours ago i was waiting for the elevator. as is the norm i was standing beside it rather than in front of it; the two guys in it got some how spooked when they saw me standing there as in they did the whole double take, hand-on-heart routine! now how they took me to be a ghost at 10 pm in a bright red t-shirt is completely beyond me!! this is one of the many strange things going on lately. stranger still is the fact that work has doubled and still i dont feel overwhelmed; maybe its the amazing support im getting from everyone around me or the fact that I was much too apprehensive before taking these responsibilities over that now the sheer simplicity is freaking me out :(

maybe life is moving a bit too fast. yes, i think tht is it. with everything going from good to better, alhumdullilah, life has kind of stumped me i think. i am used to dealing with bad news; its this whole lot of good stuff coming in from all sides which i guess im having trouble dealing with (alhumdullilah times infinity). i know it sounds very weird, and almost nashukrapana but tht is the truth.

now all i can think of is not jinxing it and letting it steer me in the right direction.

now for the interesting tales; if the above was not enough :P

the fact that i got an iron in the company raffle was taken to be a sign of my not ironing my clothes!

i made the worlds biggest and stupidest wordo (thts typo for when you say something wrong). it was soo damn embarrassing that i dare not repeat it hear. needless to say, i am not sure i will ever hear the end of it.

most interesting of all would be that ive given up sugar in my coffee :P

the yuckiest of all would be that i strongly suspect some sort of sewage pipe runs through my air conditioning ducts which is stinking up my place *tearing my hair out in frustration*

the most interesting could be that i managed to, rather successfully, play the bitch and take the guy who used to stare in college to not even glancing my way! hehe!! oddly or rather fittingly i get attention from only the very wrong people; and i enjoy chasing them off ;)

thts about all thts been happening in my mundane life. i leave you with some pics i took.

TFL: License to drive muahahahahahahaaaaaa!!! *evil grin*

I got it today!!! it was my second attempt and alhamdulilah i passed.

thts all i have energy for today; last week was busy and in comparison this and the next two weeks will be insanely so, both workwise as well as socially. i hate it when this happens!! everything is just bunched together so i hardly have any energy to enjoy things at all! and then come weeks of nothing!! arghh! anyhow cant change anything there, so will be grateful for these few days.

in my very sleepy state im just going to reply to comments here ;)
@karachiite and miss specs: girls im sorry, didnt have the time to reply to the comments or even comment on your blogs! i most definately will as soon as life gets back on track :D

@twintopaz: dude im hoping you read the previous post wrong coz it said i failed and your comment clearly was the opposite, and if you didnt read wrongly, then either you're psychic or we know each other personally. if it is the latter lemme know (drop me an email) and youll get your treat. if thts not the case, youll still get the treat, we will just have to figure out how ;)

inshallah the dsl will work on the weekend, i have quite a few blog related things to do, the link list being the most important. i apologize if i offended anyone by not linking them, my procrastination has been getting the best of me lately :(

17th June, 2007

i think the image explains it all! in case it doesnt, i left work at 9:56 pm! nuff said.

i dont understand it but somehow i love it; the late nights dont bother me! infact i quite like the feeling of being the only one in the office. i love it enough to hush the little voice inside my head. the one which tells me that i should have been a librarian in a city like new york, or maybe should have owned a little cafe cum bookshop in some corner of paris.

im off to bed soon, please pray for me! the driving test is tomorrow and im certain i will fail :(

*Update: i failed :( the next one will be sometime in the first week of july.

Karachi- the fiasco

this was an email i sent to alta after reading his post on the Karachi mayhem. click on the title to go to the post.

Just read it. Had some what similar emotions to this fiasco but not quite. It’s really brave when you say you will stay there forever when I don’t ever want to come back. Why should I? When my own country doesn’t value me, when I don’t feel safe in my own house. When I have lunatics running around outside the house shooting the innocent and punishing the civilians.

I was cooking on Saturday when the rally was being broadcasted. I didn’t hear a word of it, except the drone of Imran khan's voice, the bastard, ridiculing his country in the world's media. The fucker doesn't know how it feels when I go to the beauty salon and the lady asks me aaj karachi mein bohat danga ho gaya na?! When I never said a word to any Indian when they killed thousands in Gujarat. The bastard doesn’t know the pins and needles, the haplessness, and the worry under the i-dont-give-a-shit attitude.

Mama's comment was its a show of power, by both parties, km and abba were watching musharraf and discussing how well he had succeeded in chasing the cj out of Karachi.

Ab kiya jab sab kuch khatam ho gaya? Agar woh aata to kiya hota? Bakwas karta aur nikaljata. Maybe so many wouldn't have lost their lives, making the quality of life negative for the thousand's around them. Making someone like me scared, yet again, to visit my home, for no city will I ever belong to except Karachi, I refuse to.
Just because musharraf has zero confidence in his reelection capabilities. If the public wants him, he will be reelected. These stunts really do him no favors.
It’s highly optimistic, the rising of the silent, for that will never happen. And if it does we are too corrupt a people to let it change situations. We will kill those who rise against the authority figures, for we fear the oppressed. We will kill them and silence entire generations.

My family thinks I don’t care, that I am the least patriotic person imaginable. Just because I refuse to wear a flag on my chest on the 14th of august, because I don’t care whether our team (and not we) win or lose at cricket. What they don’t realize is that even though I love it and would never want to belong to another country, for I would lose all sense of identity and self, I would never be proud of it till the day I feel I am free within its bounds. That I will not be shackled by loons like the madrassa-e-hafsa women. How can I ever be proud of a country who has labeled its citizens terrorists, Islamists, extremists? Where women are not valued? Why do we go to press about our issues? Why never with our strengths?

I don't care because i can't. Because my caring doesn't make a difference. Because it doesn't solve any problems. Just creates more. And i have my share.

L I F E

im sleepy. but then whats new about tht?? either im pissed, sleepy or just fed up. why am i not happy?? ive been going out constantly (moving out has its benefits), laughing incessantly courtesy ray, a and Qob. its like something is missing! i have a really good job, but im not happy. i used to look forward to moving out, escaping, even when i had nothing to escape from, and now that im here...im not happy, i hate saturdays, i dont want to come back here! yet i do. im not happy, im not satisfied, yet i should be so very thankful to Allah mian, for everything coz everything makes sense, everything is in place. except me. im in limbo. and i dont like it. i was the cocky one. i knew exactly what i wanted, when i wanted and how I was going to get it. now i no longer want those things. i want stuff i shunned, pushed away, looked the other way, fought against, never accepted, cried so many tears because of, i looked down upon...and now i want them. and i cant have them! i want music, laughter, faith, i want to be surrounded by people, enveloped in noise, and smiles and warm smells and lots of love. all i am surrounded by now...is a tv and an empty cold room; hollow and quiet.

i made the bed and now i must lie in it.

Hmmm