im sleepy. but then whats new about tht?? either im pissed, sleepy or just fed up. why am i not happy?? ive been going out constantly (moving out has its benefits), laughing incessantly courtesy ray, a and Qob. its like something is missing! i have a really good job, but im not happy. i used to look forward to moving out, escaping, even when i had nothing to escape from, and now that im here...im not happy, i hate saturdays, i dont want to come back here! yet i do. im not happy, im not satisfied, yet i should be so very thankful to Allah mian, for everything coz everything makes sense, everything is in place. except me. im in limbo. and i dont like it. i was the cocky one. i knew exactly what i wanted, when i wanted and how I was going to get it. now i no longer want those things. i want stuff i shunned, pushed away, looked the other way, fought against, never accepted, cried so many tears because of, i looked down upon...and now i want them. and i cant have them! i want music, laughter, faith, i want to be surrounded by people, enveloped in noise, and smiles and warm smells and lots of love. all i am surrounded by now...is a tv and an empty cold room; hollow and quiet.
i made the bed and now i must lie in it.
Monday, April 23, 2007
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5 comments:
Aww TFL, im sure its just a phase, hope you feel better. Life brings things our way and we dont want them sometimes and later when its gone or not there we always want it, its just life. good luck.
oyeeeeee......
i am coming to meeet u! now does that makes u happy???
:D
i think u need a pure beating from me sooon...
kya yaaar....cheer up girl! have that faith and bring some laughter in ur life urself...if things are gettign just extremely tooo boring to handle!
sillly tat u are1 cheeer up ok!
hit back sooon! u make me worried!
why do we say Allah mian? why not just Allah or Allah swt?
I always wondered this...
@OG: thank you for the thought :) i do now!
@Ghazal: we are you coming??? i as hoping to be able to drive you around but as that is quite improbable..kab?? arey dont worry, im quite mad like that you'll see :)
@jummy: i dont know, whenever i pray or just talk in my head i always say Alla mian, guess its a childhood thing, so i prefer to write it as well :)
awwww baby its ok.....when im there wat else do u really need???? :P
hope it passes =D
if not i'd b more than happy to amuse u by hitting ray on the head a good many times....jus lemme know =D
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