Change of address

ive moved. come see me here: rantingsofapakichick.wordpress.com

Insaneness

its 10:35 am. ive just finished a bowl of cornflakes, the weather outside is beautiful. atleast thts what it looks like. today is one of those days when its sunny and cloudy all at once. and i smell nihari. which is completely impossible but i swear i do and right now i want a big plate of the fantastic stuff with a hot crisp tandoori roti and lots of lemons!

also, blogger thinks this is post is the 101th.

Eye Candy-Josh Duhamel

he's fergie's bf. need i say more!!

lots of random fluffy bits

im as tired as the scatterbrained title! so im going to do bullets of stuff going through my fluffy bits now.

• somehow emraan hashmi looks cute with long hair. i know, very ewww! something is definitely wrong here...maybe im into long haired dudes. revelation?
• facebook could be used as a weapon of mass destruction. brain (of pinky and the brain) could wreak havoc with it.
• there are plenty of cute guys in dubai; just not pakistani ones. facebook research!
• saw the notebook yesterday. rather streamed it. was up till 3 am. im in love with noah or (rather ryan gosling as noah calhoun)!! allah mian mera noah kab aaiye ga?
• im most definitely getting a bright red suzuki jimny; the 2007 model. any thoughts, opnions and/or ghastly experiences are most welcome! if you are going to tell me it looks like a dabba i know already, mum and alta clued me into that fact! km jealous yet??
• i miss my very irritating baby brother so much its seems hilarious at times! here i was, all prepared to send him off into the big bad world to learn important life leasons and im already wishin he'll come home now. how these four years will go by... :(
• i was supposed to be in bed by 10:20 and its 12:20 :( :(

bas ab kay liye itna hi, baqi ki khabrein kaal raat ko! ;)

TFL the ghost and other interesting tales

either its me or its everyone else, but something is definitely wrong! for eg a couple of hours ago i was waiting for the elevator. as is the norm i was standing beside it rather than in front of it; the two guys in it got some how spooked when they saw me standing there as in they did the whole double take, hand-on-heart routine! now how they took me to be a ghost at 10 pm in a bright red t-shirt is completely beyond me!! this is one of the many strange things going on lately. stranger still is the fact that work has doubled and still i dont feel overwhelmed; maybe its the amazing support im getting from everyone around me or the fact that I was much too apprehensive before taking these responsibilities over that now the sheer simplicity is freaking me out :(

maybe life is moving a bit too fast. yes, i think tht is it. with everything going from good to better, alhumdullilah, life has kind of stumped me i think. i am used to dealing with bad news; its this whole lot of good stuff coming in from all sides which i guess im having trouble dealing with (alhumdullilah times infinity). i know it sounds very weird, and almost nashukrapana but tht is the truth.

now all i can think of is not jinxing it and letting it steer me in the right direction.

now for the interesting tales; if the above was not enough :P

the fact that i got an iron in the company raffle was taken to be a sign of my not ironing my clothes!

i made the worlds biggest and stupidest wordo (thts typo for when you say something wrong). it was soo damn embarrassing that i dare not repeat it hear. needless to say, i am not sure i will ever hear the end of it.

most interesting of all would be that ive given up sugar in my coffee :P

the yuckiest of all would be that i strongly suspect some sort of sewage pipe runs through my air conditioning ducts which is stinking up my place *tearing my hair out in frustration*

the most interesting could be that i managed to, rather successfully, play the bitch and take the guy who used to stare in college to not even glancing my way! hehe!! oddly or rather fittingly i get attention from only the very wrong people; and i enjoy chasing them off ;)

thts about all thts been happening in my mundane life. i leave you with some pics i took.

TFL: License to drive muahahahahahahaaaaaa!!! *evil grin*

I got it today!!! it was my second attempt and alhamdulilah i passed.

thts all i have energy for today; last week was busy and in comparison this and the next two weeks will be insanely so, both workwise as well as socially. i hate it when this happens!! everything is just bunched together so i hardly have any energy to enjoy things at all! and then come weeks of nothing!! arghh! anyhow cant change anything there, so will be grateful for these few days.

in my very sleepy state im just going to reply to comments here ;)
@karachiite and miss specs: girls im sorry, didnt have the time to reply to the comments or even comment on your blogs! i most definately will as soon as life gets back on track :D

@twintopaz: dude im hoping you read the previous post wrong coz it said i failed and your comment clearly was the opposite, and if you didnt read wrongly, then either you're psychic or we know each other personally. if it is the latter lemme know (drop me an email) and youll get your treat. if thts not the case, youll still get the treat, we will just have to figure out how ;)

inshallah the dsl will work on the weekend, i have quite a few blog related things to do, the link list being the most important. i apologize if i offended anyone by not linking them, my procrastination has been getting the best of me lately :(

17th June, 2007

i think the image explains it all! in case it doesnt, i left work at 9:56 pm! nuff said.

i dont understand it but somehow i love it; the late nights dont bother me! infact i quite like the feeling of being the only one in the office. i love it enough to hush the little voice inside my head. the one which tells me that i should have been a librarian in a city like new york, or maybe should have owned a little cafe cum bookshop in some corner of paris.

im off to bed soon, please pray for me! the driving test is tomorrow and im certain i will fail :(

*Update: i failed :( the next one will be sometime in the first week of july.

Hmm..

there has been so much going on i dont know where to begin...this will probably be very jumbled but its the best i can do in my near dead state!

the struggle for the coveted driving license is nearing its end, will know for sure on monday. please pray it goes well!

had our first real bash on friday. wasnt really a bash but as close as could be! discovered i look seriously hot in green ;) a little self praise goes a long way! was fun and went smoothly mashallah.

aunt's here, was off from work today, so signed up for shopping and rikhrofying duty. spent sometime with her and enjoyed my day off. ended up with more books! never a bad outcome.

work is stressful as of late, i think i have wayyyy too much to do in too little time! prioritizing is an art i have to perfect.

oh and i got another semi rishta thing. seriously! what is it with desi aunties??!! like anyone could be married to someone as wild as me?? anyhow thankfully abba and mama arent for it. the acca thing will serve as a beautiful excuse/tallofying thing.

km is all set and heading off to malaysia on the 24th of this month inshallah. he is part sweetheart part dickhead right now. i swear if he doesnt get his act together he can stay here and go to shitty preston with his happy happy friends and ill head off there! dude act excited! phlease!!

S, the youngest, will be done with her last practical tomorrow and from next week onwards i will have a roommate as well as someone to do the housework! well she has to earn the treats she will be getting!

and what is it with these long finger nailed dudes?? i dont mean all finger nails are long, just one, either the pinkie or the thumb. and funnily its not cultural or religious. what it is, is freaky!! can someone please explain.

oh and aerosmith was completely fantastic. was finally able to tell when someone was soo topped up they had no idea what they were doing, witnessed my first girl on girl make out session. fun times ;) but seriously it was fantastic, even though we were there since 4:30 which was much too early, we got a fantastic spot and thankfully steve tyler did not drop dead because of the heat! joe perry was awesome!!! i would totally go next time! now if only junoon came soon! km has got me way too hyped up for an event which might not even happen.

thts all i can think of right now. goodnight :)

Update

ive been meaning to write for a couple of days but it just hasnt happened. i have a list of things i need to write about; inshallah this weekend.atleast my template work is done.

please let me know if you think something is not working, the readability of the blog i.e. too dark, too black, hurts your eyes etc.

till tomorrow i bid you adieu!

TFL= Tacos

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Why dont i have a boyfriend??

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

Stole this from Samosa's blog. i agree with most of it but i dont have anything to hide! promise =D

and then they come

i hate grey's! it bloody makes me cry and i dont need or want to cry for cristina or meredith.
thank god season 3 is over and 4 hasnt started yet.

Lyrics

Today at lunch, ray, as is her habit made me laugh, alot! how did she do that? by singing the strangest of lyrics with the strongest of convictions that they belonged to one song. tht might seem a bit confusing so let me resolve the confusion. she sang

"mera joota hai japani
main hoon raja hindustani"

She was absolutely convinced both phrases belonged to the same song! when infact they dont even belong to the same era! life without ray, would be no life at all :D

Karachi- the fiasco

this was an email i sent to alta after reading his post on the Karachi mayhem. click on the title to go to the post.

Just read it. Had some what similar emotions to this fiasco but not quite. It’s really brave when you say you will stay there forever when I don’t ever want to come back. Why should I? When my own country doesn’t value me, when I don’t feel safe in my own house. When I have lunatics running around outside the house shooting the innocent and punishing the civilians.

I was cooking on Saturday when the rally was being broadcasted. I didn’t hear a word of it, except the drone of Imran khan's voice, the bastard, ridiculing his country in the world's media. The fucker doesn't know how it feels when I go to the beauty salon and the lady asks me aaj karachi mein bohat danga ho gaya na?! When I never said a word to any Indian when they killed thousands in Gujarat. The bastard doesn’t know the pins and needles, the haplessness, and the worry under the i-dont-give-a-shit attitude.

Mama's comment was its a show of power, by both parties, km and abba were watching musharraf and discussing how well he had succeeded in chasing the cj out of Karachi.

Ab kiya jab sab kuch khatam ho gaya? Agar woh aata to kiya hota? Bakwas karta aur nikaljata. Maybe so many wouldn't have lost their lives, making the quality of life negative for the thousand's around them. Making someone like me scared, yet again, to visit my home, for no city will I ever belong to except Karachi, I refuse to.
Just because musharraf has zero confidence in his reelection capabilities. If the public wants him, he will be reelected. These stunts really do him no favors.
It’s highly optimistic, the rising of the silent, for that will never happen. And if it does we are too corrupt a people to let it change situations. We will kill those who rise against the authority figures, for we fear the oppressed. We will kill them and silence entire generations.

My family thinks I don’t care, that I am the least patriotic person imaginable. Just because I refuse to wear a flag on my chest on the 14th of august, because I don’t care whether our team (and not we) win or lose at cricket. What they don’t realize is that even though I love it and would never want to belong to another country, for I would lose all sense of identity and self, I would never be proud of it till the day I feel I am free within its bounds. That I will not be shackled by loons like the madrassa-e-hafsa women. How can I ever be proud of a country who has labeled its citizens terrorists, Islamists, extremists? Where women are not valued? Why do we go to press about our issues? Why never with our strengths?

I don't care because i can't. Because my caring doesn't make a difference. Because it doesn't solve any problems. Just creates more. And i have my share.

Rugby Rock

need i say more?? maybe just that im going!!!!!! :D

right now its cloud 119th for me; my first concert and that too Aerosmith, what more could i ever wish for :) so even if my life is shit for the next week and a half, i couldnt give a rat's ass. that is the level of my excitement and km had better start showing all that hidden excitement coz i know its there. What more could he have wished for as a going away present than a rock concert date with his sister and her insane friends ;)

blog wise the last couple of days have been weird. ive been meaning to write plenty but have just been doing one thing as soon as i am home; watch grey's anatomy. episode after episode. its pretty unhealthy coz im up till all hours and fall asleep in the middle of an episode. its bad but soo addictive!! and to balance this ive started running again, which is good but my legs feel like someone sledge hammered them and i also joined Farah's Quran club on Facebook. that is one really good thing to come of my facebook addiction. write more when i get home. for now its time to start clocking in those hours :)

Adios Amigos!

The absolute truth!

** By the way this isnt the truth, its a joke :)

The world is full of pinheads..

and im completely surrounded by them!

ive had more than my share of idiots for the year please Allah mian keep the rest far far away from me lest i completely lose it! Ameen.

What happens to Ashok in the strip is what will happen to me very soon... ill go completely ballistic over some unknown person and have a total meltdown!

The joys of internet!

when down in the dumps watch love actually or something similar :) its even better when you get a copy on the internet =D

a nice throughly romantic movie has the power to make me feel so warm and fuzzy! its like everything is right with the world once more =D especially one overflowing with cute guys *drool* i really dont care what hugh grant likes to do in his free time, i still think he is bloody cute. i really wanna go see music and lyrics *hint* coz ive heard its amazing and i really dont wanna go alone , did that once was not fun *double triple hint!* just incase you missed the others ray ;)

coming back to reality...work is fine, if a bit overwhelming at times, driving is shit; my ex-instructor is/was trampling on my nerves and messing with my head and common sense :( and hence she is now the ex! have asked for some else now, a guy preferably lets see how that works out. discovered the most delish perfume today, its Hermes, Eau de Merveilles, its surprizingly within budget so im thinking of getting myself a bottle or maybe ill get mum one instead of me. its about time i started spoiling her a bit rather than buying stuff for myself!

the weekend starts in two days, cannot wait.

L I F E

im sleepy. but then whats new about tht?? either im pissed, sleepy or just fed up. why am i not happy?? ive been going out constantly (moving out has its benefits), laughing incessantly courtesy ray, a and Qob. its like something is missing! i have a really good job, but im not happy. i used to look forward to moving out, escaping, even when i had nothing to escape from, and now that im here...im not happy, i hate saturdays, i dont want to come back here! yet i do. im not happy, im not satisfied, yet i should be so very thankful to Allah mian, for everything coz everything makes sense, everything is in place. except me. im in limbo. and i dont like it. i was the cocky one. i knew exactly what i wanted, when i wanted and how I was going to get it. now i no longer want those things. i want stuff i shunned, pushed away, looked the other way, fought against, never accepted, cried so many tears because of, i looked down upon...and now i want them. and i cant have them! i want music, laughter, faith, i want to be surrounded by people, enveloped in noise, and smiles and warm smells and lots of love. all i am surrounded by now...is a tv and an empty cold room; hollow and quiet.

i made the bed and now i must lie in it.

Beyonce feat Shakira - Beautiful Liar

i blame ray for getting me hooked on to this!

What to do when you have a cold

1. Shoot yourself!
2. Shout not again, and then shoot yourself
3. take it like a woman and deal with it
4. blow your nose like a trumpet so that everyone hears, gets to know you are sick, and gets grossed out!

right now im going with number 4 and finishing boxes upon boxes of tissue paper.

if any one know of a magic cure to this, please let me know so that i can stop driving my collegues insane :) in all fairness i cant be expected to run to the ladies room whenever i have to blow my nose coz thts every three minutes ;)

Happy Birthday Sunshine!!

today the littleist one in the family turns 18!! happy birthday my darling!! Have a great day today and enjoy this year =D

Stop worrying about high school politics and board marks! when they couldnt bring me, the stupidist child in the family down, they can do you no harm! so smile, let them be. just be who you are. you know we love you for you not for how many 90%s you score.

happy birthday little sister, enjoy these years for very soon you wont be a teenager any more and life will have lost its innocence, its charm, its carefree nature. very soon newton's third law will apply to all situations and you will feel too much perfection is demanded of you.

enjoy it while it lasts =D

lots of kisses

love

Apa

dekho barish ho rahi hai...

its raining, its raining, its raining!! (its a song and really funny coz of the way its sung :P)

it rained quite a bit today. as usual i didnt have the camera with me :( got back around nine, went for a run and in the middle, it started to rain really hard. it was so beautiful, absolutely quiet, no one around, music and rain =D i wish tht would be the case everyday!

saw namaste london on youtube. was okay, the end wasnt included in the last clip :( but he gets the girl definately coz its a hindi movie, right :)

went out with ray and qob today, good times :) have my second driving class tomorrow.

will write more later, lots of stuff has happened, but no energy to write...

off to bed with me :)

seven wierd things about moi

i got tagged by abcd law (thank god!!) i stopped at five and then remembered two more :P

1. i have full fleged imaginary conversations with real but unknown people, meaning they exist i just havent met them, ever. all in my head, can entertain myself for hours like this and they are probably more interesting than real conversations.
2. i have a thing for haircuts. ive got everything i wanted to try done, thankfully mum is patient enough to put up with it! ive had everything from a fringe to a flick to a mushroom cut (really long hair chopped off so short my neck was visible, which i also got shaved so it looked like a proper boy's mushroom cut)
3. my ideal man is clark gable as rhett butler.
4. every one ive ever had a crush on has turned out to be a complete asshole! thankfully the crush was based purely on looks which turned to dust as soon as i heard their stupid ass convos.
5. allah mian installed a wierd magnet in me before sending me here. i swear to god each and every wierdo i ever meet or even just pass by on the way to class, is somehow attracted to me. they stare like no tomorrow but never speak. and these are not shy indo-pak guys. these are bloody europeans. i mean if you can stare surely you can stay hello. atleast it will be less repulsive :(
6. nobody believes that im a pakistani. even the starbucks guy asked and did not believe the answer! why!!?? just coz im on the fairer side and can speak angreezan di zaban (english) just because all you ignorant bastards believe all pakistanis are pathan taxi drivers doesnt mean we all are! get a life and an encyclopedia while you're at it!
7. i am only funny when im being sarcastic/ bitchy. in a normal circumstance i can kill a joke more effectively than raid kills roaches. its that sad.

i'm quite sure i wont be on anyone's bloglist from tomorrow, but thts who i am. one big fruitcake :)

i tag alta(get off your lazy and start writing), ustani, km and ze queen of babble.

my peculiar aristrocratic title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Viscountess Tfl the Unique of Pease Pottage Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

chalo atleast i'm a viscountess :) the rest be damned ;)

arey wah, just tried the whole thing, this is what i got

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Empress The Friendly Lion the Sonorous of Chignall Duntisbourne Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Tales of feet and comedians

sooo tired! :( feel like doing a rip van winkle and sleeping for years. ive been at work for nearly 14 hours for the last two days, not a very god senario, i think im turning into a workaholic but do they whine as much as i do??

i think i have this thing called arch pain, i know it sounds pretty lame but hurts like shit! if i do ill have to give up heels, wht will happen to my pretty shoes then :( and wont be able to run unless i get myself some really good (read expensive) running shoes; I so donot want to spend 300 on joggers even if they are nikes.

tomorrow's going to be a long day :( but only two more days till the weekend so yayy!

dont have much to whine about so ill sleep now.

did i say i love russell peters? dont believe me, go here.

on the many idiosyncrasies in life...

i am so addicted to il divo, it isnt funny. ive been listening to them repeatedly for the last two days. even as i type i have one earphone jammed in, boss doesnt seem to mind it as long as i can hear whats going on and work simultaneously.
yesterday was a day for bizzare happenings. it started with this girl from hr hugging me when i gave her some papers for her boss's sign; continued when my boss told me she was worried about me. this was said when she saw my desk which littered with all kinds of paper. to make my day, i get on the bus out side burj, it goes in to pick up people, every one gets in, doors close when someone taps me on the shoulder. i turn around to see who, its a guy i dont know but i smile thinking may be i do know him and cant remember. but then im like lemme ask, so i ask him if i know him, he goes No! and starts laughing uproariously! i mean maha freak anyone??!! thank god he did not attempt a conversation! :S

another thing which has been bugging me lately is the way people sit in the bus. its like they feel that the bus is theirs and hence they can sit in whatever way they like! i mean oj i realise you are a large person and need space especially when u r sitting on the tiny, foldup seat in the aisle but that does not mean that you can take all the space you want while i shrink against the bus side! and if it ended at that, it would have been okay but when i keep shrinking and the other person keeps taking up space, it just pisses me off!
any how, off to sleep..

My Virtual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Marriage and desi marriage

i have been reading a lot of stuff on marriges on a variety of blogs. i seem to agree and disagree with alot of this stuff. i am strange when it comes to marriage, the ever dreaded M word. i am way too liberal in some ways and too old fashioned in others. as screwed up as that might sound!

this post is my take on stuff discussed in mezba and aisha's blog.

i think marriage, at its very core is two people who decide to live together for their entire lives. thts it. it does not have to be miserable, it should not be forced and it is not a way of life but life itself. the world over people prefer to live alone if they dont find someone they think they can live with happily. but no being desi we cant do that. why? well because log kiya kaheengaye (what will people say). these log (people) will have plenty to say whether you're a) unmarried b)engaged c) married d) spinster (a word i hate! there is no age for marriage, neither is there a right time, until the time the right person turns up!)

wikipedia defines marrige as
"A marriage is an interpersonal relationship with governmental, social, or religious recognition, usually intimate and sexual, and often created as a contract.[1] The most frequently occurring form of marriage unites a man and a woman as husband and wife"

The reasons for marriage are

"The reasons people marry vary widely, but usually include one or more of the following: the public declaration of love; the formation of a family unit; legitimizing sexual relations and procreation; legal, social and economic stability; and the education and nurturing of children."

what i couldnt find any where were the words "i hereby condemn you to a life of servitude, misery and subservience; a life of imprisonment where you may never be able to speak your mind or do as you wish."

my point is marriage isnt some anamoly which when occurs changes everything. all it should change is tht before you were alone and now there is some one to share everything; so that u are never alone; some one who you go home to; someone to count on, always. am i wrong? should it be such a drastic decision that your life is changed for ever and not only your life but who you are, the person who youve always been.

some thing else which puzzles me alot is that when you get married, in desi land, all compromises are expected to be done by the girl. the guy will continue to live his life as always but the girl will have to change everything from what she wears, what she eats, when and how she eats, whether she should work or not. why? is there something so wrong with the way you were living before? all im saying is that yes, compromises have to be made when two complete strangers (as is the case with arranged marriges) have to live together, sharing everything. but way must the girl be expected/forced to make them? shouldnt they both meet halfway?

i dont get all these wierd expectations of people. i have developed a serious distaste of marriage as a whole because of such things. instead of being a happy event it becomes a monumental one which in so may cases does not result in happiness for either party. all i ask is then why is it so bad if someone wants to opt out of this escapade. why cant i choose to escape unscathed instead of leaving with scares i will bear forever? just because society dictates i should marry! the same society who thumbs their noses at you when you dont marry and when you do but divorce. i refuse to belive that people divorce just beacuse one day they woke up and decided to be single. the emotional strain on both people is never considered. why? because life goes on! but want tht life. isnt being married life, not a part of it but it.

another thing i dont get is our society's objection/distaste to anything but an arranged marriage. i agree that our parents are probably the best judge but no even they can determine wht that person will be like behind closed doors. and for that matter neither can I. but in this case cant i as an adult who is quite responsible be expected to make an intelligent decision as to who i want to spend my entire life with. (the reason i keep saying entire is because i believe marriges are forever, this is the old fashioned bit) i mean input from families is welcomed but stupid resistance to a preferred guy just because he was chosen by the girl doesnt make sense.

this may sound like a bitter telling by someone who has had her heart broken one too many times. but believe me when i say i have had no prior relationships in all of my 21 years. i dont believe in being involved with someone just because. if its not the right person, id rather not. and as he hasnt shown up yet so i havent :) but i often wonder about all these things, these unnecessary requirements levied on us. and strangely, more often than not, it isnt the parents but their want to do things, the way they have always happened, and to have ample approval from the #%$^* society!

i just wish mummies and daddies would stop looking for the perfect looking person, who has the right family, the right profession, the right social circle, the right amount of money and other rights but start looking for the right person. coz at the end of the day no amount of money can make a marriage work when the two people cant stand each other. coz in this case a compromise just isnt possible.

and all this stuff about girls from back home are more compatible/docile/beautiful is just bullshit. just because they live in pakistan doesnt mean they arent humans with they share of wants and desires. i agree would have been meeker if had been brought up there but just as angry at any injustice. the only difference being my inability to speak my mind. and believe me when i say a meek bahu from pakistan would take a total of six months to gain ample confidence to shout out her mind.

another thing which just really pisses me off is the dating thing. people, girls and guys from pakistan date too. (just in case some one didnt know!) when i say dating i mean, going out to coffee/dinner/drinks with someone you like, not any and every one who asks/shows interest. thts all. nothing more and nothing less. i mean if its religion we are talking about even going out with someone ze parents select before gettig hitched isnt quite allowed, is it? and then its only looked down upon when its girls not boys, the sons. people, the girl your son is going out with is somebody's daughter jic it didnt occur to you! i am really lucky when it comes to such things. i always tell mum whenever i go out anywhere, an advantage being the fact that i dont live at home. but i have seen my friends having to put up with such double standards and it makes me so mad!

i welcome any input but i dont expect any positive thoughts anyway. so knock your self out!

Restricted access

hello

ive decided to restrict access to this blog. i write what i feel here, in what ever words in feel like. this might cause a problem along the way. please leave a comment on this post if you would like to be read or on the daily one if you're too late. btw the daily one will still be open to all.

bye

***** i changed my mind! i think i like comments too much! =D

Now this is my kind of an alarm clock!!

the last week has just flashed past. for some obscure reason i have been very, very tired and sleepy this past week :(

today's looking up slightly. boss has ordered an absolute treat for me and her. a broken chocolate parfait with white chocolate creme brulee and pineapple in orange caramel, which i'm imagining will look something like this...
YUMMM!!! so hungry right now! time for lunch :)

And it did!!

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Somedays only Dilbert makes sense!

The obligatory Vday post

Most posts i read today were about heartbreak in its various forms, only D-rebs posts were on the happy spectrum. i cant write about either which is probably a bit pathetic as this this my 22nd Valentine's day! (sigh!)
on top of which im at work, by eyes are burning (which is probably coz of my 21" monitor) and so is my back (bloody chair!! :( i need an ergonomic one). the only good thing i noticed all day in the office was that everyone denounced the holiday as being too commercial (a really pathetic excuse!) and so i havent seen anyone getting flowers. which again is sad as no matter how much you may denounce it every women wants flowers today and every husband/boy friend should send some.
well thts all really from my end; to all the couples out there, just go out and celebrate a bit, it is a holiday afterall!

Its just a thought*

i was just wondering that i never post on the blog when im feeling a bit philosophical or nostalgic or even just happy. i only post when im either bored or incensed or have too much time on my hands.
to tell the truth this was supposed to be a completely anonymous and private blog, a place where i could vent with freedom, where i could write witout hesitation, where i could write without the fear of hurting a loved one. simply put where i could be me. as blunt, as sarcastic and as in secure as i truly am. but i cant be tht person here. i have to be the polite, nice me here.
lately i have been reading a wide array of blogs which range from (on my scale) bizarre(my new pet word in case you hadnt guessed yet) to ridiculous to sweet to inspiring to plain gag inducing. what i dont understand is are these people really who they say they are? am i what i potray through the blog? am i truthful? or do i tend to over exagerrate or understate an event when retelling it? do i write for the pleasure of it? or do i write to exercise my mmind and through out random words into the cyberspace, a word i presume only used in sci-fi movies.
i considered doing a day by day account of my life as i read on some blogs which i truly enjoy. they are like 7days for me, read every morning as soon as i come to the office. then i think what will i write?? tht i slept till 1:30 on friday and saturday and was woken not by my shrill alam but by my mothers' kiss or my my father gently shaking me awake as if it was 7:30 and not 1 in the afternoon.
yes i suppose i could write that. i think the reason that i dont is maybe coz i want approval, from no body specific but everybody in general. i suppose i should stop looing for approval. this is my space. here i will be what i am. boring or monotonous it might me but it is who i am. and i wouldnt want to change that for the world!
hence there will be be two blogs now, one a diary and one for musings and the not so occasional rants. lets see for how many days i can kep this up!

*this post is completely incoherent, written in a flow of thoughts and emotions all coliding in one place, all at once. please dont try to make sense out of it as there is none.

Random stuff...

This is going to be one of those posts which makes no real sense but here it is any way..

• how is it possible that every gora guy looks cute to me? it cant be possible that every gora guy in this city is cute or that my company employs cute goras by the truckload?? at the same time how is it that i spot the ugliest desi guys ever?? it has been extremely rare when i have seen a cute/good looking desi guy walking about and that too with a lack of long greasy unkempt hair, stubble and low slung jeans, all signs of coolness to some, which to me look completely gross! where are all the good looking pakis of the world/dubai hiding?? (scratches head)
• moving on, i was told the most bizarre thing yesterday. maybe it was a bit more than bizarre something in the range of huh! i'm standing waiting for the bus when i spot the librarian from the academy, so i go over and say hello and we speak for a bit. now this is not your everyday librarian. she's a 20 something south african who is completely chilled out and really fun. she was standing with a bunch of her south african friends when one of them goes, where are you from? to which i say Pakistan. he looks at me like im someone really strange and says that my accent sounded like a mix of british and south african accents, not paki at all!! where did this come from?? british i get, its the academy talking. i think i acquired this because of speaking nothing but english for the past three years surrounded by native speakers. the south african bit is totally unexplainable coz the only southafrican i really spoke to was mike who did not have an accent! all i can say is hmmm..
• this brings me to the next point, and people i really need feedback here, is paki an insult? i mean is calling someone a paki the same as calling an african-american a nigger?? this is what i read on a blog but i really dont think so. ive always considered it a short form for pakistan!
• oh and bloody friggin ibn batuta shall hence forth be reffered to as the serpentine monstrosity! shaitan ki aant kay jaise chalta jata hai!! whose bloody idea was it to make it stretch on for miles!! atleast dubai airport has conveyor belts this is without even a mall map so basically i go around in circles without reaching anywhere!

weekend!

was good!! rain made it better and i forsake my flu woes to enjoy the weather. we went to nando's by the corniche in sharjah and it was pretty good. what was amazing was their chocolate cake..warm, crumbly, oozing with warm chocolate sauce and above all a HUUGEEEEE slice! enough for three people (after lunch ofcourse). in the case of choco freaks like my sister, not even enough for one! :D

mum got back from khi on wednesday, lots of shopping = lots of dvds = a very happy tfl!!

i saw guru which was awesome and then i spulrged and went to see salaam-e-ishq! i just couldnt wait for the dvd and the cinema for me is a spulrge coz 90% of the time its a huge waste of money. but in this case it was well spent coz the movie was great and the songs even better which was a blessing and is there anything i can say about salman khan...(drool!) how old is he again?? ;)

during the movie is sort of funny thing happened. during the parts when there was silence on screen i kept hearing someone using their mp3 in the sence that i could hear songs and i was wondering who would come to see a movie at 11 pm and listen to their mp3 simultaneously??!!
turned out my mp3 was on and was playing all the songs i kept hearing! :)

thts it. am back to work now, its really quiet for a sunday though. will maybe watch omkara tonight. i saw vivaah and mistress of spices yesterday both of which were crap and most of mistress of spices was cut and so didnt make tht much sense to me. it was so very different from the book that all its magic was lost!
all in all was a very good weekend.

Phelgm :(

first the fog, then a very intense though brief spell of flu and now a fever..!!!!

everyone be like Chandler Bing and go " Could this be any worse"!!

Big yellow taxi- Counting crows

i just love this song!! :) some of the lines really make sense; and with Hugh Grant being in two weeks notice and then this playing in the background it makes for a double treat, doesnt it! ;)

They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique, and a swingin' hot spot
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parkin' lot

They took all the trees, and put em in a tree museum
And they charged the people a dollar and a half to see them
No, no, no, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got till it's gone
They paved paradise, and put up a parkin' lot

Hey farmer, farmer, put away your DDT
I don't care about spots on my apples,
Leave me the birds and the bees - please
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey now, they've paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Why not?

Listen, late last night, I heard the screen door swing,
And a big yellow taxi took my girl away
Now don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise and put up a parking lot
Hey now now, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got till it's gone
They paved paradise to put up a parking lot
Why not, they paved paradise
They put up a parking lotHey hey hey, paved paradise and put up a parking lot

I don't wanna give it
Why you wanna give it
Why you wanna givin it all away
Hey, hey, hey
Now you wanna give it
I should wanna give it
Cuz you're givin it all away, no no

I don't wanna give it
Why you wanna give it
Why you wanna givin it all away
Cuz you're givin it all givin it all away yeah yeah
Cuz You're givin it all away hey, hey, hey

Hey, paved paradise, to put up a parking lot
la,la, la, la, la, la, la ,la ,la ,la ,la
Paved paradise, and put up a parking lot

Hmmm

Very wierd!

first things first, is there an art to writing titles and ending the post??? coz i cant grasp this concept, i just dont know how to end the stupid post so i end up writing something like see u later or byee or ciao. how dumb! please guys if there a secret that im oblivious of please let me in on it, thanks.

now comes the wierd part. my face has turned ito an antenna. yup it realy has. ill tell you how i know. i was in the basement of the burj (the basement is where the staff bus goes to pick up the staff, btw nearly all offices and the cafeteria are below the building, almost at sea level. no sunlight whatsoever, its so urghhh!) my mp3 also has the radio option and tht is what i was listening to, now owing to the fact that we were in the basement i had the worst reception ever and there was this song coming up which i really wanted to listen to so i started waving it about hoping to get something clearer when suddenly it touched my face and zap all i could hear was crystal clear sound! and so for the rest of the time my mp3 was glued to my chin while i was trying to act as nonchalant as possible and ignoring the fact tht everyone was staring :)
and tht is how my face became the universal antenna.

on the movie front i saw click and munich yesterday. click was okay, not as good as i imagined but munich was fantastic. for a movie based on israeli and palestinean relations it was surprizingly based on a middle ground. really good, a must see perhaps.
has anyone seen salaam-e-ishq yet??? i really wanna go and see it but i havent gone yet, maybe will in the next week so please tell me if u saw and what u thought about it, i dont wanna waste money for no reason at all.

on a different note, the brother of my bestest friend in karachi is moving here. tht just might be the best news i have received in sometime as it opens up a whole different avenue of opportunities and possibilities! yayyyy!

i miss mum so much, well only 4 days left now :(

Sooooooooooo..

well there's nothing new really. dont have internet at home so have to blog out of the office, not very nice :(
on the family front mum's going to karachi on the 24th for eight days, its going to be lonely and i will have to cook and clean on the weekend; not looking forward to that really!
on a personal front i have sworn not to look at any clothes or shoe shop for the next few months. i have brought so much stuff over the weekend, it has to be somekind of a record for me! i cant be blamed if i inherited a very phisloo tendency, can i?? ;) and is it my fault i found things at all the right prices and in the right sizes and that all the malls were at sale?? i guess not :)
i got a pair of the loveliest black strappy sandals with a good heel :) :) me is in shoe paradise! i think i have a shoe fetish, all signs point in that direction!
i hate the bloody sight of ibn batuta already. its walking distance from home now but i keep going around in circles whenever i go there! :(
i dont know if im late in doing this but i read this fabulous article in 7 days a few days ago the link is this.
on a similar note, beirut by strings, is one of those songs which gives me goosebumps even in summer. it is a fantastic song and the video is not to gory which is good. can any one tell me where i can download the video from?
And thts all folks :)

Starting out in a new place...

is like walking on egg shells. literally! you have to watch every step u take, every thing that come out of your mouth, every expression on your face; coz it all can be, ridiculously, misconstrued.
i dont know where i picked up the walking on egg shells expression but it just fits in to this shituation. although my red finger nails are cheering me up! hehe
why cant people be simple and straightforward? easy to read? direct? matter of fact? why must things be done in a roundabout way when there are simpler and easier ways. i wish everyone in the world behaved like these two amazing people, i know, do. they mean what they say always and thts their charm. its impossible to be cross with them!
i love you mum! and A im starting to really enjoy and look forward to our talks on orkut!
Cheers! :)

So Karachi...

Karachi was good at times, tiresome at others. i could see any changes after nine years of absence. everything looked and felt the same. the food was yummy as expected, but spicy as hell. i would have had some stomach problems had i stayed longer. people only know one kind of hospitality there, FOOD. they will make you eat and eat and eat until you puke, but refusing is considered rude so tht cant be done either. i dont know how people lose weight there, ive put so much on!! :(
km had to make this visit memorable or rather as memorable as possible and hence we had to take him to omi in the dead of night as he had severe food poisoning due to the quantities of food he was consuming off the street.
the only thing i felt was very strange was the fact that at times it seemed dirt cheap to me, as in the case of books. i probably bought around 15-18 and they costed me something i the area of 160 dirhams. which is nothing. but as far as good clothes and good food was concerned, man it was exorbitant!! i dont know how people live there! there is no balance whatsoever in the prices of things!! another thing which was strange was the food in fast food joints! pizza hut was unimpressive and nando's gave me indigestion. verrryyy wierd.
but after all it was fun, met up with ghazal after so many years. eventhough we only spent a day together i had so much fun! and after seeing her work and the effort she puts into it i could only say i have nothing what so ever to fret about regarding my school work coz we get off pretty easily as compared. on which note i might add, results are almost out. i havent flunked as i expected, so thts a relief :)
work is better as time passes and i suppose once i get used to it, it'll all feel routine and everyday soon.
its the marathon tomorrow and im doing the 10k. which is stupid as i havent even run a km for four months now. i shall see how tht goes.
ill post pics from the trip soon, so ill get back to work now.

Everything's a jumble!!

so i'm back... from karachi and to work! i came back on the 4th at 2 am and started work on the 7th at 8:30 and thts what ive been doing ever since. WORK!!
even now i have a bunch of figures to plug in and im blogging instead. its absoloutely insane and i dont know what i will do? :( it will probably get better now that i finally have my studio and so will not have to come from and go to sharjah every day, which is such drag!!
on top of it all, im doing the marathon on the 12th and i havent trained for an hour, meaning i will die at around 8 am on the 12th from sheer exhaustion!
ok now that ive put in my share of exclamation marks for the week, ill get back to work and post when i have something happy to report.
ill write the low down on my paki trip soon.

Ciao until then.